Before I left to spend two weeks in Israel, most people who had already been said I would be taken aback at first by one thing: the machine guns. And it’s true. With required military service from the age of 18 (although I learned that there are a whole, colourful variety of ways to avoid this), you can’t suck down a falafel without having someone’s gun poke you in the thigh. But this wasn’t so shocking to me, perhaps because I had been prepared.

What I was not prepared for was somewhat more surprising.

The Mullet.

It is alive and well in Israel. Other than the varied “beard and curls” looks of the more orthodox Jewish communities, the Mullet is the most widespread hairdo in today’s Promised Land. At first, I would just whisper to AssRay in our invented creole language that someone needed to call the Mullet Police and then we would giggle.

But as the days went by, I began to view the omnipresent Mullet as an analogy for modern Israel, or at least for Tel Aviv. As a great sage once commented: “It’s all business in the front, party in the back.”

So true.

When I am an old woman, high on painkillers and looking back on my life, I am sure that I will long to relive the hour that I am currently facing. But right now, as a 28-year old who has recently become immune to coffee, I just want it to be over so I can get the hell out of here. Vive le vendredi!

My first run in with a "guilty pleasure" television experience was definitely "Small Wonder", the Saturday morning live action sitcom that starred Vicki. She was pretty much your average sitcom child, except they stuck a plastic panel full of blinking lights and dressed her in outdated clothes, thus making her an android. Even at age 6, I knew that I should be embarrassed to watch this show. But I never missed it.

A few years later, it was "Walker, Texas Ranger". Right when I was at that age where I was too old to be in bed early, but too young and awkward to have some kind of raucous Saturday night social life. I used to watch it with my Dad. I think that you, my one reader, are the first person I have confessed this to outside of my immediate family.

Most recently, it was The O.C., which I defended nail and tooth until the last season, which involved cage fighting, animal spirit conjuring and perhaps the worst final episode of any show I'd ever seen. I cried when the final credits rolled.

Now, here's my dilemma. I think that I have an addiction to these guilty pleasures and I have been forced to go cold turkey since that faithful day in February. I've tried watching other things...Hidden Palms...just a bunch of minor O.C. characters that aren't funny at all...John From Cincinnati...a bit too cerebral and quirky...Workout...world's most obnoxious lesbian...Pimp My Ride...fun, but the dubbing which makes me hear the French and English simultaneously really does a number on the language centers in my brain.

What's a girl to do?

As a post-script, for those of you that shared my Small Wonder infatuation, check this out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukSvjqwJixw It really puts things in perspective...

During my daily press review that I do while I drink my espresso and brace myself for another day of annual report writing (beurk), I found out that Mog shed its beta status. Mog is a mega snob music site that has fields like "Artists You Should Know About". It made me ashamed to mark that my first concert was in fact New Kids on the Block at the Rochester War Memorial.

But I found some time to play around with it and I have to say that I like-y. Check out my profile, which is very bare right now but does feature a nice picture of yours truly Gonzo-style.

My Mog Page

Soon, Mog will be integrated into my Mandounette page!


Footnotes to this post:

Today's French lesson: Beurk = Ew, Yuck

In Muppets From Space, there is a heartbreaking scene where Gonzo, who doesn't know what he is or where he came from, is looking on the mantle of the Muppet Frat House. Amongst all the photos of the Muppets with their large families is a photo of a pin-prick sized Gonzo, alone on the beach. If I could, I would put Muppets From Space in the "Movies You Should Know About" category.

So, how do you come back from a 4 month hiatus? I have been a very irregular blogger--consumed by my real life, shamed by the superior quality of my friends' blogs. But it is Easter Monday (yeah, sounds a little sketchy to me too, but at least it equals a day off here) and Mandounette is risen.

I guess the French chose to create Easter Monday because in the end, we would all rather work one less Monday instead of one less Friday. I spent my day eating and cleaning my cat's litter box and area. Yuck. I read somewhere that pregnant women should not be allowed to clean their cat's litter boxes. Is that reason enough to run out and get myself knocked up? I'll have to sleep on that one...

From the depths of the Internet...

10. White Trash Cookbook
Thinking of losing some weight in 2007? Keep this cookbook on your kitchen counter and watch your appetite magically disappear every time you catch a glimpse of the cover.


9. Hotel Room Inspector
Will your date's room pass the dreaded black light test?


8. Tiki Tissue Holder
Just in time for cold season! Muka laka hiki, come on ya wanna blow me. Pass the tissues, mahalo.


7. The Wizard of Oz Ruby Slippers Doorstop
There really will be no place like your home once you install this one!


6. Waterfalls Hearts Masterpiece / Your Face American Gothic Masterpiece / Cantaloupe Baby
Pure Photoshop genius.


5. Giant Universal Remote Control
Finally a remote that can't get lost between the cushions of your couch!


4. Pickle of the Month Club
'Nuff said.


3. Christmas Story Leg Party Lights
Christmas parties without these fragile little lights should be illegal.


2. Set of Plush Dolls of Common Ailments / Red Blood Cell
HOT: Viruses. NOT: Teddy Bears.


1. Yoda Santa
And I quote: "Our favorite part of this wonderful Yoda is the traditional assortment of toys he's bringing to good little girls and boys-a doll, a drum, a tin trumpet-hardly the assortment you'd expect younglings of his era to play with."

It's been a while, hasn't it? And certainly, this wasn't the post that I was planning on making my comeback with, but who am I to fight the blogging urge when it comes upon me?

A while back I wrote that one of my goals was to eat only foods that were "in season" and I am proud to announce that today I took a major step in the right direction. I signed up for a 6-week trial membership to "Les Panier du Val de Loire" (translation in the title of this post). For only 12.50 euros I get a sack of 5 to 6 certified organic vegetables and whatever fruits are in season. I have a feeling I will be eating a lot of apples until spring rolls around. I can pick up the sack every Friday at this great little equitable commerce grocer a block away, and pick up some seaweed spread and detox tea while I'm at it. The 10 producers are based about 1 hour 30 minutes outside of Paris, so the transport is minimal and I am helping to secure work for over 80 people and support and organic agriculture training school.

My first delivery is scheduled for December 1. The first gift of the holiday season. I can't wait!

Like is when that guy you have a history with calls you when he is drunk.

Love is when that guy you you have a history with calls you when he is drunk and you are together in the same restaurant.

This is really just a post to check in with you all. Let you know that I am alive and doing well. I am 18 pages into my 40-60 page thesis. I had an f-in great time in Edinburgh. Saw tons of great shows, which I hope to eventually discuss in detail at a later point, including giving the awards that Maya and I devised, our own personal Tonys. But best title definitely goes to Reginald D. Hunters: Pride & Prejudice & Niggas, not to mention that he is one witty SOB.

Don't know, I feel like roundabout swearing today.

Tomorrow is my first day of work! I am as excited as____________. Hmmm. I couldn't think of an analogy as quickly as I had hoped for. A wino with a freshly opened bottle? A dog that spots a fresh pile of other dog doo?

This isn't going so well. Any other suggestions?

So, I am hoppin' a plane to meet MizMaya in the medieval capital of the motherland tomorrow. We will be hanging for 4 days in Edinburgh, slamming through 5 or 6 fringe shows a days and an equal or greater quantity of single malt, beer, and vegetarian haggis (it DOES exist!). My last hurrah before I become a working girl again. (Or maybe my first hurrah as a working girl in France who has 10 weeks of vacation time that she has to figure out how to use, if you're more of a glass half full kind of person, which I am apparently not.)

Anyone out there already been to Edinburgh? The Fringe? Care to give a girl some insider tips?

And did I mention that I am nauseous with excitement?