This isn't really a funny link and I know the title sounds like spam, but this site could prove to be very helpful. It certainly would've helped me before my credit was destroyed by one unpaid bill from 1999 (thanks to Stefan, the apartment squatter who never sent me my mail). Anyway, soon we will be able to get free credit reports even if we haven't been rejected for something! What a novel idea.

Credit bureaus announce AnnualCreditReport.com site

Craiglist has finally arrived in Paris and the crazies have already infiltrated the Rants and Raves forum. Check it out for shits and giggles.

Example:
Fuck off American assholes with your craigslist, Mc Donalds and your big backsides. You think you can just go into another country and force your culture on the people. We don't want another stupid American idea in our country. Stick your craiglist and your cheesburgers up your derriere.

So, Stephane's little sister has officially made me her "meilleure copine" (best friend), so I decided that I should take my "meilleure copine" out on the town for a day. I didn't know what to do with her, but then I saw that the Cite des sciences (Science Center) was having an exhibit dedicated to the "Impolite Science of the Human Body." Basically it is a tour of the human body that takes a close look at boogers, poop, farts, and the like. You enter through a giant mouth and then go through a bunch of exhibits, including one where you get to pick a giant nose. It is very Double Dare. I can't wait! The English version of the sight isn't working, but for the French-speakers amongst you, it is worth taking a look at the site. I made reservations to go on December 11th. I will be sure to let you all know how it is. Ah, Paris! Such a classy city.

Ever wanted to be a journalist? Here's your chance. Wikinews is a brand new site that deems itself a "free-content news service," brought to us from the wonderful people who brought us Wikipedia (a free online encyclopedia that has great articles in English or in French). Basically, once you have an account (it's free), you can submit stories, add to ones that have been written, create special topic pages, etc. I plan to help develop their culture section, as it is a bit weak right now. (I don't blame them they just launched this month.)

So if you have discovered something interesting, write about it! Or if you don't have time to write there is a space to provide links to outside sources. Go and fight that corrupt corporate mouthpiece that we call the news media with your mighty keyboards.

(Pour les francophones: Wikinews sera disponible en francais bientot. Ne vous inquietez pas!)

A little Internet tip for those of you who don't know it already. Snopes.com, aka the Urban Legends Reference Page, will help you to find out if that e-mail petition or an enraged call to write your congresspeople or a plea to donate a free mammogram or receive a free iPod is a valid cause or not. It is basically a search engine that will tell you if the message at hand is true or false and explain where and/or when the message originated and what it usually contains.

For example, today I received this message:

---

Hello All,

On NPR's Morning Edition last week, Nina Tottenberg said that if the
Supreme Court supports Congress, it is in effect the end of the
National Public Radio (NPR), National Endowment for the Arts (NEA) and
the Public Broadcasting System (PBS). PBS, NPR and the arts are facing
major cutbacks in funding. In spite of the efforts of each station to
reduce spending costs and streamline their services, some government
officials believe that the funding currently going to these programs
is too large a portion of funding for something which is seen as not
worthwhile.

The only way that our representatives can be aware of the base of
support for PBS and funding for these types of programs is by making
our voices heard.

Please add your name to this list and forward it to friends who
believe in what this stands for

This list will be forwarded to the President and the Vice President of
the United States. This petition is being passed around the Internet.

Please add your name to it so that funding can be maintained for NPR,
PBS, and the NEA.

HOW TO SIGN FORWARD: IT'S EASY

Please keep this petition rolling. Do not reply to me. Please sign and
forward to others to sign. If you prefer not to sign, please send to
the e-mail address indicated below.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT DUPLICATES. This is being forwarded to several
people at once to add their names to the petition. It doesn't matter
if many people receive the same list as the names are being managed.

This is for anyone who thinks NPR, PBS and the NEA is a worthwhile
expenditure of $1.12/year of their taxes.

If you happen to be the 150th, 200th, 250th, etc., signer of this
petition, please forward a copy to: wein2688@blue.univnorthco.edu This
way we can keep track of the lists and organize them. Forward this to
everyone you know, and help us to keep these programs alive. Thank
you!

NOTE: It is preferable that you SELECT (highlight) the entirety of
this Letter and then COPY it into a new outgoing message, rather than
simply forwarding in your new outgoing message, add your name to the
bottom of the list, then send it on.

---

Fighting the urge to curse the Bushocracy once more and send this petition on, I went to Snopes to find out more. Here's what Snopes had to say. In any case, it is a funny site to poke around in and will make you crave the forwards like it's your first month having e-mail.

Of course, it means that nobody is reading Mandounette today. (I know that I am no more than a way of procrastinating at work!) So I am going to describe to you my elaborate Thanksgiving meal:

a bowl of Special Forme (the generic Special K)
a granola bar (also generic brand)
and a vanilla yogurt (Danone)

And instead of watching football, I am watching a documentary on Kung Fu. This French kid who moved to Shaolin to study Kung Fu is pretty good with a bowstaff...

So here is the official number of weddings that Ste and I have been invited to for 2005:

4

2 in NYC, 1 in Rochester, and 1 in Chicago. I better get a really good job to be able to pay for all of this travel! Yikes, it is frightening.

It is even spectacular in French.

The idea has been bumping around in my brain for a while now, but today it dribbled out of my mouth as I talked to a classmate on the metro, heading toward the woods for a meditative walk before landing back home. Basically, I am growing older. I am an adult, but due to administrative difficulties and mass confusion in the decision-making and self-assertion parts of my brain, I have been trapped in this weird limbo between a student-infested world of 20 year olds who still think that the bars at St-Michel are fun and a large network of "young professionals" who are buying apartments and doing other things that you can do when you are young and have some disposable cash. The problem being that, while I have nothing against the young 'uns, I am not one of them. I really do prefer dinners with friends and nights out at bars with people who are no longer students. But yet, I am not really operated in the same life style circle as the others, leaving me isolated and depressed. It's strange. I am still outside of the Matrix, but instead of interpreting it as a sweet sign of revolutionary bohemianism on my part, I find myself dreaming of offices and paychecks and stability and mindless mediocrity.

After a full year of directionlessness, I have decided that I need to get a direction and quick! I have created in my mind a 5 year-plan that involves getting through the school year, finding some run-of-the-mill business-y position and being ready to get a Master's in whatever it is that I fall into by the time I am 30. Now, don't worry, I am not abandoning the undecided masses. I have not decided what I want to do, just that I want to do something. I've come to realize that there are going to be things I hate about just about any "job" so I've decided that I want one that will allow me to exist without too many financial worries. So, come the fall, when hopefully papers will not be an issue (more on that at a much later date) I am banking on being a part of the business casual class. Until then, I just need to suck it up and try to do my best at the minor tasks at hand, such as school and finding a teaching job for January. But I tell you, life is majorly heavy right now. I find myself unable to even have interesting thoughts. I just keep singing Special Sauce over and over again in my head, entering into a kind of self-induced trance to make me stop obsessing over the fact that an ATM ate my bank card because I HAVE NO MORE MONEY.

So there you have it, Mandounette, once a brave warrior of idleness, is being pushed forward by only one terribly banal desire: To have enough money to buy name brand orange juice.

Just got news from the big brother that he will be in Paris for our birthdays (we were born 1 day apart). Growing up, birthday time was a lot like Christmas 2 and I have always loved sharing my birthday with him. Most memorable for me was the bowling birthday when I dropped a ball on my hand. I was turning 6 and he was turning 9. Or the many years when our parents let us loose in Toys'R'Us with $100 each to buy whatever we wanted. I had always dreamed of winning the Nickelodeon super shopping spree and it was the closest we got. But it has been 10 years since we have been in the same place to celebrate together and it makes me very happy to know that we will be able to do it in 2005. We don't know if we are going to celebrate in Paris or take a trip to Scotland together to get back in touch with our strong-livered roots. In any case, it is sure to be a debaucherous night for both Mandounette and Glennvolio (the shakespearean fraternel nickname I once bestowed upon my brother oh-so-many years ago).

Hope you are all able to celebrate the greatest marketing tactic of all time, Le Beaujoulais Nouveau est arrivé! I will be experiencing the new vintage of the cheapest of cheap French wine this evening at a bar yet to be determined. I'll let you all know how it is. And yes, I used the expression "BoJoNo" with some of my fellow classmates and they looked at me like I was crazy. But hey, I come from a place that has NoLita and SoHo and DUMBO. It just comes naturally to me. I swear to God, the French need to overthrow the Academie francaise and move on.

Here's an idea for Mandounette's Christmas gift:

Music. After 2 and a half years of constant exposure to new tunes, I find myself in a bit of a musical wasteland (what is this funk/soul revival that has been going on in France for the past few years?). Plus I spend about 1 and 1/2 hours a day on public transit.

So what I ask of you, loyal Mandounette readers, is for some inspiration. Whether you want to buy my the best album you've heard this year, or burn me a copy, or make me a mix CD or tape of songs that have marked 2004 for you or that you think I would dig, please go for it!

Of course, if you had something else in mind or money/time limits make this task impossible, it's no big whoop.

And let us all have a moment of silence for Ol' Dirty Bastard, or Rusty as his mom called him, who passed away this weekend in a New York recording studio. In his honor, I encourage you all to revisit the original Wu Name Generator. Wu are you?

Peace.

Mandounette (aka Mighty Killer)

It's a good question and one that I am not sure I can answer in any concise or remotely rational way. I was trapped for a few days in a depressive haze, perhaps caused by an OD of birth control pills (I forgot to take them for a couple of days and had to "catch up"), perhaps caused by a severe shortage of cash and a series of disappointing days. Perhaps caused by my inability to turn my brain off and remember that despite the frustrations, everything is really ok. I mean, it is not like I am starving or sick or a victim of violence or homeless. I actually live a pretty disgustingly easy life, but there are things that eat away at me anyway, mostly my directionless ambition that is having a great difficulty finding a channel to express itself. It seems as where before, my workaholic tendencies discriminated little from one activity to the next, remaining equally persistent in my job, my schoolwork, my music, my writing, my exercise, and various other little daily skills. But now I am confronted with a total lack of motivation with my school work, as I am finally realizing that it doesn't matter at all. I have decided to take up coffee drinking because it is the only activity that makes me re-engage with my banal classwork, and let's face it, if it's the ONLY thing that I am busy with at the moment, I might as well succeed at it.

Ok, enough boring crap. As part of my dark days, I spent a lot of time sleeping and therefore dreaming. I don't remember a lot of them, but the one I had this morning was killer.

Basically, I found myself in Japan, a city called Na--ka (for some reason I couldn't figure out the middle syllable, I think it is a mix of Nagasaki and Osaka). In any case, it was a port city (which I imagine most major Japanese cities are). I was on a street which had one side lined with shops and other commercial establishments and the other side showed a little beach that lead to the water. Walking past an electronics store I saw a news clip that was playing on the televisions in the window. Although I didn't understand the words, from the images, I understood that there had been an earthquake in the ocean and that a tsunami was headed write for the city of Na--ka. Shit. And here I was at the beach. I looked out toward the beach, expecting to see a wall of water miles long getting ready to swallow up the city (much like in my dream of 1997 when my recently deceased grandmother led the family to the top of a light house and to safety to avoid the monstrous tidal wave that was approaching). But what I saw instead was the the wave's massiveness was not vertical, but horizontal. The water was shallow but moving very quicky toward the city. I wasn't going to be drowned, but I definitely was going to get wet. I braced, myself against the building and was splashed by water. My biggest fear at this point was the anticipation of a massive undertow that would drag me out to sea, even if the water wasn't that deep. Seeing a store that was open a few feet a way, I quickly slipped into the dryness of a Japanese pet store. The people in the store were very welcoming and helped me to dry off. While I waited for the water to recede, I decided to pick up some wacky Japanese cat treats to bring back to Chita.

You see, I was in Japan for just 10 days, on business. I was alone, but there to meet with some people. Once I felt that it was safe to go outside again, I walked down to the subway, bought my ticket (was impressed that I was able to say the few words I needed in Japanese) and got onto the train. The station was massive, with several different platforms, but I had studied which one I was supposed to take and new exactly what stop I was getting off at. I was happy to get into the brightly lit subway car after spending enough time in the dingy, gray concrete station that made me think a lot of the office building in Joe vs. the Volcano. I was staying with another American woman, who I didn't know, but who obviously worked in the same field. She resembled Elaine from Seinfeld. Her apartment was small but warm, with a sort of orange glow to it. My bed was a pullout sofa in the small tv room. I felt very safe there. She was incredibly friendly and had arranged a dinner with some of her friends, promising me a wild night. We left the apartment to go to the restaurant and then I woke up.

I found myself on the Lonely Planet website reading about Japan and decided that I have to go. But until I have the excess reserves of cash to get myself to Na--ka, I contented myself with the "Floating World" exhibit of Japanese prints at the Palais Royal. It was stunning. I realized that, although I know practically nothing about Japan and Japanese culture, there seems to be a duality about it that is congruent with my own flux of emotions and needs--at once stimulating to the point of insanity and solitary. The prints often juxtaposed crazy, out-of-control bordelo scenes with these incredibly tranquil landscapes. With a different perspective, a window from a lonely hotel room looking out onto the craziness instead of a shot of the two side-by-side, Lost in Translation also captures this duality. Perhaps it is what drew me to the film. I don't think I will get to Japan anytime soon, and certainly my impressions once I do get their will be very different from my dreams. But until then, I will add Japan to my list of countries to visit (along with Ireland and Australia, which have also made it into my dreams) and learn as much as a can about this mysterious world. Oh, and I vow to eat a lot of sushi.

It's kind of embarrassing for a country that hypes itself as the most perfect model of democracy to be such a disaster at the polls. Time to modernize, my fellow Americans.

Slashdot sums it up.

BTW: Want proof that America is no longer "one nation, indivisible"? Read some of the posts. It should get you riled up no matter what side you're on.

Oh, and shouldn't nerds know how to spell? The orthography is just abominable on this site.

So, we know that a lot of wankers live in Ohio, but this product of the Buckeye State shows that they are not all Bush-voting lame-o's.

Going through his closet, Kevin found a collection of excellent sweaters from the late-80s. He models them for you and his buddy Stephen Lynch (a pretty rad journalist in his own right) adds astute captions. I highly recommend clicking on the links if you have the time.

The Kevin F. Sherry Sweater Project

So, my good friend Coffee has helped me get out of my post-election, pre-winter funk and I am back. Yesterday was spent at the library diligently borrowing a massive pile of law manuals, philosophical manifestos, and other various sundries to start preparing for my first exam season which begins November 22 and ends December 13. As for my projects, I have been incredibly efficient and already have a head start on 2 of them: a marketing project that I am working on with the Mairie de Paris (city hall) about handicap accessible transportation and an analysis of the idea that "Information wants to be free."

I also picked up a FUSAC (the Bible for lost anglophones in Paris) and found what could perhaps be the perfect job for me. It is working as a translator for this website, viaFrance.com, which is a tourism site dedicated to various events going on in France. It is a big site and seems like it would be a fun job. Keep me wired into the times. When I called about the job, everyone seemed very nice. I get nervous though when I want something badly, so I hope that I didn't come across as a flake on the phone...

After several disappointments on the job front, mostly due to the premature job search that I went on before all of my papers were regulated, I am finally poised to throw myself whole-heartedly back into the working world and, as if a sign from Athena, this seemingly perfect job seems to creep up. It probably won't pay well, but that's ok! It will be nice to do something that makes use of my skills.

"Employers only hire people who have skills, you know like numchucking skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills..."

Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Place your NetFlix orders now for La Battaglia di Algeri (The Battle of Algiers), an Italian-Algerian film from 1965 about the Algerian War which is not only incredibly beautiful but startingly relevant to the current world situation. It is a bit emotional but not in any way a film of revolutionary or state propaganda. Just an incredibly honest account of a war that is taboo in France and unknown by most Americans.

Attention Progressive Americans! A noble crew of Canadians is willing to come to your rescue.

Check out their site:

MarryAnAmerican.com

I hear that weed is decriminalized in Vancouver. Montreal will help those with a desire for something a bit more European and Toronto just kicks ass. So there are plenty of options. Bundle up and go find your mate!

I am actually crying while I watch John Kerry's concession speech. I am not angry or terribly surprised about what happened. But I certainly wasn't anticipating such an emotional response.I honestly feel as if I have gotten my last glimpse of hope that we can make this world better and have settled in for despair. The worst feeling though is the anxiety. After September 11, I thought that people would begin to look in a new direction, but apparently what I saw happen directly in front of me lost its effect on television somewhere around West Virginia. Now, I find myself plagued with anxiety, knowing that it will take an even bigger event to make a few more people wake up and begin to understand that this administration does not offer us a better world.

I think this should be the anthem at the Republican victory party. "God Bless America" sung by How's Your News, a group of mentally handicapped singer/songwriters. This brave soul says it all.

Listen to "God Bless America"

Packing list for those coming to live with me:

-air mattress/mat for floor (one lucky person will get the futon)
-sleeping bag and pillow
-laptop with wireless card (if you want to connect) and outlet adapters
-cat treats to win over Chita's heart
-lint brush
-CDs, records, and DVDs to add to House collection (no cassettes or videos, sorry)
-pots and pans that work with induction
-paintings and/or photographs for deco purposes
-liquor
-games (I already have Set and Clue, but I think Pictionary or Trivial Pursuit could be fun)
-Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
-Root beer
-Magic Chinese Peppercorns
-Marinol pills (well, any pills would do, really)
-Good knives for the kitchen
-Magnets
-Umbrella (this one is key!)
-Books for the free exchange Mandounette Library
-Lots of passport size photos. You will need them for everything!

I will add more as I think of it. See you all soon.

So, I am a bit hungover from last night's election festivities. Not from drinking too much, mind you (saving that for after the results are announced), but simply from the exhaustion of running my Elections Results Center which included a webcast from BBC Radio, French television coverage, and a constantly refreshing CNN page. The numbers were never the same in all three locations, making me highly aware of the problematic nature of our mix'n'match electoral system.

I fell asleep around 7 am with visions of "4 more years" dancing maniacally in my head. It wasn't pleasant. I woke up to find a repeat of 2000, only this time I am more conceding and less indignant. It seems that neither side has much in the way of ethical standards, between a "voter group" (sponsored by the GOP) calling thousands of newly registered voters to tell them that their registration wasn't approved and they couldn't vote and Dean supporters signing up new voters and conveniently "losing" the applications of those who register for the wrong party (this from a personal story that was related to me), I am pretty discouraged about the state of my country.

Why, oh why, oh why oh. Why does it depend on Ohio?

And although the election is still "in process", I would like to give some awards:

Lamest states:
2nd Runner-up: Nebraska
1st Runner-up: Wyoming
Winner: Utah

Americans I really don't get:
2nd Runner-up: Young people who vote GOP
1st Runner-up: People who are pro-life AND pro-capital punishment AND pro-war
Winner: Hicks who think their podunk town is somehow the next Al-Qaeda target

Best survival strategies in case of Bush victory:
2nd Runner-up: Move to a foreign country
1st Runner-up: Move to a Red state and start raising havoc
Winner: The Daily Show and hard liquor

Reasons to Avoid the South Beach Diet:
2nd Runner-up: Development of brain cloud induced by a carb deficiency
1st Runner-up: Bill Clinton's hanging neck skin
Winner: Low carb bread

What it takes to oust an incumbent President:
2nd Runner-up: Loss of 585,000 jobs over 4 years, devaluation of the dollar, price of oil sky-rocketing

1st Runner-up: over 100,000 people dead and still no WMDs

Winner: Refusing to admit any mistakes or suggest any solutions to improve the lives of Americans

As if.

Apparently, you no longer need to do a good job to get re-elected, just scare the shit out of people and choose your special interests carefully. I admit that I don't understand Red people and to be totally honest their mere existence makes me queasy. But to be fair, they sure as hell don't understand me and think I'm the devil himself.

All I can say is that if the draft is reinstated, it better be in the fuckin' Red states that go first. It only seems fair.

So, it is November 2 and I have a feeling in my stomach that is somewhere between Christmas Eve and the day before a big test. I am excited to watch the results unfold and anxious about what those results will bring. Is it because it is the first election I have really been following closely or is it truly because it is one of the most important elections ever in the US that I feel so giddy? Of course, even keeping vigil tonight to follow the results (polls start closing around 3am here) I hardly expect to have definitive results by the time I go to sleep tomorrow morning.

Plans to watch the election amongst a large crew of expats at Harry's Bar have given away to a night on the couch in front of TV 5's live coverage due to the fact that buying my tickets to come to the States for Christmas have emptied my pathetic bank account and even one drink (let alone 10 hours worth) is no longer possible. But oh how I wish that I could watch The Daily Show coverage. It would be so much more entertaining. But anyway, I hope that all of you have a blast voting (if you can) and will see you on the other side.