If anyone has ever seen the Futurama episode "The Day the Earth Stood Stupid" then they may just have a bit of an idea of how my work day went after a weekend spent in London. Basically, in this episode a race of brain-sucking aliens descend upon the earth and create an intellectual wasteland. I'll admit that I didn't start the trip out in the most efficient way, drinking a bottle of champagne at the Fireman's Ball (which I have given the epithet "The Bastille Day Ass-Grabbing Extravanganza, perhaps I will post more about that later), weaving home at 4 am and then getting up at 8:30 for a breakfast meeting. I arrived in London and immediately consumed huge quantities of kebabs and curry, which was delicious to the tongue but quite violent to my increasingly prissy appetite. I allowed myself to sleep in on Friday and took it easy, flopping around in Green Park most of the afternoon reading and people watching.

But then everything started to spiral out-of-control. The beer was free-flowing, Harry Potter was bought, although I must admit I did not end up donning a Hermione costume, London was traversed multiple times in ankle-twisting madness, more beers were drunk. I slept in a room next to a big pile of records and a steaming set of decks and underneath what I will refer to as the "Breakfast Club of Clapham North". Imagine dozing off in circles at 4 am only to be woken at 8 by a group of DJs making the bedroom upstairs an after-after. Offered a cup of tea by the housemate referring to himself as "slightly right of Ghengis Khan" and who I simply call "paddle pool boy," I thought I would dig into Harry Potter in the garden, relaxing next to said paddle pool. Until a cigarette fell on me. Then I moved inside to watch TV, finding out that at least 5/6 of the house had no idea who the DJs upstairs were.

All-in-all a good time was had (negative experiences being emphasized mostly for their narrative value). I had originally thought of showing up for the end of pub quiz Sunday at the Highlander, but, slightly sunburned and suffering from a major case of the stupids, I hardly thought I would be an asset. Today has been a rough one, my new Baritone voice giving away my debauchery in front of my chic colleagues. I have to give a class tonight, which will be a challenge. I can only look forward to some HP before bed and AssRay's return tomorrow evening. And hoping my brain is sent FedEx for tomorrow.