I am on the metro on my way to class. As I watch the beach pass by, I think to myself, there must be a storm offshore. The waves are mammoth and choppy and the sky is a freaky mixture of grays and blacks. The train stops, the doors are opened, and I am surprised to see my brother and his girlfriend get on with all of their luggage. What are you doing here, I ask. We decided to be bumped from our flight to get the 700 euro travel stipend. That means one more night in Paris! Excited to have them for another night, I am suddenly seized by panic. You're welcome to stay, but I can't go out. I have an exam and I have to study.

The waves get bigger and bigger. I wake up suddenly, still feeling the same panic that had just washed over me in my dream. I do have an exam, one that I had successfully pushed from my head, one for a course of which I missed 2 of 6 classes because of my trip to NYC. Then every single minor, ridiculous cause of anxiety springs to life in my brain. It is 4 AM. I know that I will not be sleeping again until several hours later. Every time I have a bout of insomnia, I inevitably fall asleep about 45 minutes before I need to get up. Just enough to totally leave me out of sorts. I pet the cat, I roll over. I roll the other way. I play with the cat. Ste gets up to go to the bathroom. I pet Ste. Ste falls asleep, snoring peacefully and I am enraged with jealousy. Why can't I do that? I count to 100. I count backwards from one hundred. I think about all the first names that start with the letter F. I am pretty proud of myself for Fatima, Federica, Francoise, Finnius. Wait, is Finnius a first name? In Finnigan's Wake is Finnigan a first or a last name? Damn, I should read some Joyce. I make myself close my eyes. I fall asleep. I wake up. Have I slept long? 12 minutes. What about the letter H? I finally doze off around 6h45 and the alarm goes off at 7h30. I sleep through several snoozes, contemplating skipping class as not to waste the precious fatigue that has finally taken me. I roll out of bed and spend the rest of the day (between caffeine bursts) with a wicked headache.

This happens to me more often than I would like to admit. Every morning I am amazed at the thoughts that kept me up. They are all so banal. I have never had trouble sleeping before, even in periods of enormous stress. If anyone can give me some suggestions to help me stay asleep, I would appreciate it.